Well…this is been one hell of a week and I am exhausted from it.
I had a Bone Scan, CT and MRI on Monday, and a mammogram and bone density on Tuesday. Even just getting to all these appointments is stressful enough not to mention the pain from the mammogram…especially being called back TWICE for more pictures. WTF?!?! Yes, scenarios did start running though my head immediately.
Even with all the practice I do daily with being in the moment, letting it be what it is, prayer, etc, it all bombarded me at once. I am happy to be able to say that I recognized it as fear and shut it down and turned exclusively to prayer thanking God for setting up these appointments earlier than I thought they were needed.
Tuesday afternoon after I was done with all that, I received a call from H nurse telling me something has changed on my MRI, and they were sending to Groves (brain oncologist) to take a look at too. GREAT…that day had turned from shit to total shit.
Wednesday I was going to paint a commission order, but my son wanted to stay home from camp and hang out, so since I didn’t have any appointments of course I let him! We went to the indoor rock gym. He had a good time, but it was kind of a bust because they had a camp going on and couldn’t teach me how to belay him down, SO he was only able to boulder (climb with a rope) therefore not allowing him to go all the way to the top. OH WELL! I told him we would all go one weekend, I would get recertified to belay and all would be well!
Thursday I had a 9:00 at H for FIVE shots (second round of all my immunizations) and while I was checking in I was told I was also down for Avastion (brain chemo)…good with me…get this crap started early. BUT that also threw me a little off…or a lot because ALL of this was getting in the way of my goal of finishing my commission pieces before we leave town…OH WELL because at this point I had no say in what was happening. Well, that isn’t true. I could have gone back today, but I just wanted to get started and be done.
Then mom met me at the house to drive me to my needle biopsy because I was loopy from the Xanax I took to keep me calm while I was getting shots into my boob and I was already exhausted from the day and the week.
The boob biopsy went fine. The only thing that hurt were the numbing shots, and I am still sore this morning. After I got home I passed out for a few hours, woke up for 3 hours and passed back out until this morning.
I honestly have a good feeling about the boob not be cancer. I mean I JUST had a chest/pelvic CT on Monday that came back clean. And with the brain stuff, I knew there was a large possibility I would one day need to do the brain chemo again to keep it all good.
SO that is my week in Cancerland. Yes, I am OVER IT!