Trending back up

I am coming out of the fog that has been wrapped around me for the past 10 days from a GVH (graft vs host) flair.

I always look forward to this day when I am in the middle of a flair and crazy thoughts are starting to pop into my mind…thoughts like: sh*t – do I feel worse than I did last flair, how many days have I been down this time compared to last time, is my foot harder to control and on and on.

Yes – even with all my “find a positive in every situation” practice – sometimes it is hard to remember to mind my thoughts and they quickly spin out of control.

Today is my first day in 10 days that I haven’t slept over 14 hours (minimum). I can’t say I am totally awake and alert at this very moment, but I am not sleeping – I will count that as a win!

My first steps on my coming back list are:

  • Showering (I know it might sound silly, but when I am having a GVH flair, even showering I super hard because of all the energy used)
  • Writing
  • Being social (I usually don’t even talk on the phone much when I am in a flair because I just don’t have any extra energy to spar.
  • Walk or go to essentrics class. 
  • Art
  • Cook

I have to use this coming back list; otherwise, I look at my big goal of getting back to where I was and freak out because it looks so overwhelming.

So, here is to my first day of this come back!

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