How to be happy?

I don’t know at what point I started to believe I had to get
all this stuff done in order to be happy?? 

I don’t even think “happy” is the correct word –
accomplished maybe?

Whatever the word is, I am doing “it” again.

Here is what I have on my “to-do” list – and when I say to
do, somehow in my mind that get turned around to “should have been done
yesterday – you loser.” Sad but true.

My current list:

1. Finish final FINAL edits. 
   I sent it out to a few people to read and am taking some of their
   suggestions.
2. Make postcard to mail to those who order the book for a gift
3. Set up FB page for all my stuff in ONE place – right now it
   is all over the place
4. Twitter and Instagram – use it daily
5. Videos – make some videos of me reading poems I wrote and
   some of me answering your questions. I feel REALLY called to do this…like
   REALLY.  So why am I dragging my feet?  I think I am scared of what will come from these – both good and bad.  I see other people get ripped apart for doing things on-line, and that scares me.

And the above are “business” things…I have a whole
other list of personal stuff.  But I guess
that is where I need to stop seeing it as business or personal – it is ALL very
personal to me.

Back to my above statement on being happy – when did I get
tricked into believing having a marked off to-do list would be my key to
happiness?

I don’t know when, but I am trying to unturn that thought.

I just can’t unturn it right now, when I am SO close to
having these things done…then I loop back around…will I ever really be done and
if I were, would I really be happy??

I think no.

I think it is doing the stuff that makes me the happiest.

OH, there it is – I just answered my question…it is IN doing
the stuff that I am happy.

I guess I need to chill out and enjoy the ride and stop trying to control this rollercoaster of life…God is driving.