The world doesn’t stop

The world doesn’t stop

I cleaned out my email today and noticed the junk mail from
Dec 2013 – April 2014.

Apparently, I never checked my mail those months?

Those aren’t the only a set of months I have lost from cancer.

Lost in time.

Never to be given back to me.

I don’t remember anything from last Christmas or April, 2014
due to narcosis growing in brain.

All I remember is how bad my head hurt all the time, and how little energy I had.  I was sleeping 12-15 hours a day during the worst parts of it.

I have other random blocks of time missing from my memory
due to either or all: chemo, surgery, radiation, steroids, narcosis or
depression.

I don’t know if my brain doesn’t let me see these times in order
to protect me in my now?

I don’t know if my brain actually doesn’t remember these
times?

Either way…it doesn’t matter.

But what I do know from all these times, is that all these times that I don’t
remember, the world kept going.

I guess it had to?!

Best friends had babies, friends got married/divorced, new
businesses opened and/or closed, neighbors came, neighbors left, friend’s cancer
got better or worse, and so much more.

I look around at all that has happened and I wonder where I was
in the midst of it all?

I wonder if this is how Alice felt in Wonderland?

I will never really know, but I will still wonder just the
same.