Big week

So much for having a true “off week” from cancer land – I guess
I can never step off the board and stop playing this game since it is my
life?!?!

I have my 4 week follow up MRI tomorrow and my every 3 month
PET scan on Friday.

I also have lunch penciled in on the ole calendar 2 days
this week, so I will just look forward to those days and hope that takes my
mind off waiting for all the results.

I do think waiting is one of the hardest part.

Sometimes I get the results the same day, sometimes it takes
a full other day…I just never know. And either way my mind starts playing
tricks on me…it is taking so long because Dr H is looking into other opinions,
it is taking so long because nothing has changes and they have bigger fish to
fry…it truly is a mind game that can take me on an ugly and scary ride.

I TRY not to let it. I try to remember to pray for strength
and patience, but sometimes the “what ifs” get in first and take over and I can’t
pull out of the spiral. 

I am going to try a new approach – I am going to put post-it
notes all over with one simple word – pray to remember no matter where my mind
is taking me at that moment to look to my heart instead…I will let you know how
that goes!

My PET is on a Friday so 
likely I won’t know the results until Monday and since Dr H consults the
“brain team” (my new name for my team of 4 doctors who look at all my test
results, discuss and then let me in on the secret) (and which by the way, I am
NOT complaining about this as I am so very thankful to have these talented
people look over all this and truly care about the outcome)

My cancer land b*tches have big weeks too. A new drug for
one and a boob off for the other (I know – it sounds crass but it is what it
is)

If you have extra room on your prayer list, please add us 3
playing this game of cancer land.