Just Breathe

Just breath.

It was all I
could tell myself while sitting waiting to be called back to meet my new
oncologist.

A month ago I didn’t even
know what an oncologist was.

Now I have one.

I sat there looking at
the “cliental” I felt like a purple alien.

I felt that people
wouldn’t look at me – maybe they knew something I didn’t. 

Maybe they were afraid I
was there by myself and I would leach on to them to hold me up?

Maybe my imagination
really gets away from me?

I am sure pretty sure no
one really cared that I was sitting there, but I felt like people were asking
themselves, “is she waiting for her mom?”

Nope! Here for me, please
look away, there is nothing to see here is what I wanted to shout out in the
waiting room.

I didn’t.

I didn’t say anything out
loud.

I said a lot of prayers in
my head, but no spoken words.

A few people walk in for a class. I think it is a class on chemo, but I am not
100% sure as I am sure this is a class I have to look forward to.



After filling out yet
more paper work, I try to read a book. That didn’t get me too far as I reread the
same paragraph for at least 5 times and still had no idea what I just read.



Renee Sendelbach, I
heard.

Oh wow, she got the last
name correct is what I think on my back. I let the front desk know that Eric is
on his way and to please let him back.

I had to get my height
and weight again.  I really don’t know
why they won’t take my word for this!?!

So, there I was sitting
in a room waiting for someone – Eric, the doctor, the nurse, someone to come in
and tell me it is time to wake up and go home.

The bad dream is over and
I handled it all pretty well.

No one came in to tell me
that.

This is it.  I have started on the book! I am only about up to my 8th chemo and anyone who knows my full story knows that  there is A LOT more to tell.

I honestly hoping someone sees this and contacts me and tells me they have to publish it…a girl can dream right?!?!

Honestly I am doing this for 2 reasons: to get it out of me and more so to help others. I don’t know exactly how it will help them, but I pray it does.

If you feel so inclined to help me, please share with anyone you think this can help.

I will still current stuff to but I just need to be held liable to someone.