Learning to listen

It is hard for me to remember that I had 2 brain surgeries
(well, Eric says 3 because radiation is counted as a surgery) a little over 6
months ago.

It is hard for me to remember that my body needs time…needs time to rest more than most, time to recover, just time…

It is hard for me to remember that I receive chemo twice
a week.

It is hard for me to remember that if I push too hard one
week, it takes me a lot longer to bounce back the next.

It is hard for me to remember because it all seems so normal
to me.

I pushed too hard last week on my off week…and I am still
trying to bounce back this week.

I crammed too much into my week, too many appointments, too
many errands, too many lunch dates – which so sucks to say that because I crave
those lunch dates, I crave that time with my friends.

I haven’t yet been able to find a balance on my off weeks…I
always do too much of something and then the bounce back is slow, then I beat
myself up and then – well, you know the rest of the cycle.

I am praying I learn my boundaries and when I can push them
and when I need to accept them and surrender to them.

I am praying I learn to listen to my body and its needs.